


Loose Lips

by alynwa



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 23:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: How quickly things can change in 24 hours.





	Loose Lips

_Loose lips sink ships._ My mother used to say that to me all the time.  It was an old World War II slogan warning people that if they said too much, they risked everything.  Short, sweet, simple and so true.  How the hell did I end up like this?  Twenty – four hours ago, I didn’t think any of this was possible.

I have worked for the City for fifteen years; first as a secretary, then, a few civil service exams later, as a low – level manager in a low – level office deep in the heart of Sanitation.  I’m not rich, but I make decent money and I did finally learn how to save a dollar.  I figure by the time I qualify for my pension, I won’t have to eat dog food.  Or if I do, it can be Iams instead of Alpo.

Stull, like Robin Leach says, I have champagne wishes and caviar dreams.  So every once in a while, if I’m feeling lucky or the jackpot is big enough, I’ll spring for five dollars’ worth of lottery tickets.  Cash payout, of course.  After all, where’s my guarantee that I have twenty – six years left?

That’s why yesterday during my lunch hour, I stopped by the lottery machine in Habib’s store, held up my five bucks and smiled.

“The usual?”

“Yeah, thanks.  How are you, Habib?”

“Very good.  Good luck.”

Nothing strange.  The same conversation I always had with him.  Right before I went back to my office, I smoked a cigarette like I do every day and glanced at the numbers the machine had picked.  _One hundred and thirty – six millions.  Wouldn’t **that** be something.  And I know exactly what I’d do._

And I really did.  I had dreamed the “I won” dream so many times it had become my blueprint: First, sit down with a financial advisor and work out the taxes, investments, spending and give – aways.  Especially the “give – aways.”  Big money winners always have relatives they never heard of and “friends” they haven’t heard from in years showing up from nowhere with a hard luck story and a hand out.  Before I tell anyone I’m rich, I will know how much I am giving to whom.  Anyone who doesn’t like the amount offered gets nothing.  Take it or leave it.  Only after I’ve taken care of the first phase will I move to Phase Two: Telling certain people about my good fortune.  Of course, _they’ll_ tell the world, but I won’t.  I would want as low a profile as possible.

After work, I picked up my dry cleaning and some takeout for dinner, came home, fixed a drink and turned on the TV.  As usual, it was my intention to stay up to watch the numbers being drawn, but the three rum and grapefruit juices (I hate soda) had other ideas.  I was asleep before ten.

This morning, I just caught the 7AM bus.  I was a little annoyed because my newspaper wasn’t delivered and I didn’t have time to buy one.  I like to read and ride and I have told Mr. Jones that if he can’t have my paper in front of my door by 6:30 in the morning, he might as well keep it because I am not paying for a paper that shows up after I leave for work.  I bought a paper from Habib along with my morning coffee.  As I was smoking outside the office building, I thought through my morning schedule and realized I had back – to – back meetings until one o’clock.  _Great.  I can’t even read the paper until this afternoon._

I always thought that when something fabulous, awesome, extraordinary or just plain good happens in one’s life, off in the distance fanfare should be heard.  Like, writing a final payment check for a car (Ta – da!), meeting a new love (Dunt ta ta ta ta!!) or matching all six numbers of the lottery (Ta – ta – ta –Ta – a – a – a – a!!!).  Instead, fanfare – less, one is left to one’s own slack – jawed devices.  There I sat in my office, with no trumpets in the background, mouth opening wider as it’s becoming clearer that all six numbers of one of my games match all six numbers I am looking at in the lottery section of the paper.  _Oh, my God.  Oh, my God!  I won!  I WON!_

I almost started screaming.  Almost.  I got up from my desk and walked back and forth, breathed deeply and tried to get a grip.  _Thank God my door is closed!_

I thought about Phase One of my plan: Get a financial advisor.  That’s not difficult, I’ll call Debbie when I get home tonight; she has a financial advisor that she keeps telling me has not steered her wrong.  I’ll make an appointment for tomorrow and call in sick.

I looked at my watch and realized that I had been rich for all of three minutes.  I wanted to tell somebody, _anybody_ about my winning but I kept repeating to myself, Phase One, Phase One.  Don’t tell until Phase one is done.  Instead, I picked up the phone and called my boss.

“Mr. Peters?  Hi, it’s Tara Sanders.  I’m sorry, but I have to leave early; something’s come up that I have to take care of today.  I emailed the report you requested already.”

“That’s fine, thanks.  Is everything alright?  Is there something I can do?”

“No, no.  Thanks for the offer, but I can handle it.  I should be in tomorrow.”

I felt a little guilty lying to Mr. Peters.  He’s one of the best bosses I’ve ever had and he trusts me.  I haven’t called in sick in two years and I have plenty of vacation time since I hardly go anywhere so I knew he wouldn’t mind me leaving.  And good boss or not, keeping this job is not part of my “I won” dream so he might as well get used to not seeing me anymore.

I got home around three and realized I had exchanged pacing around my office for pacing around my apartment.  I called Debbie’s voicemail twice even though I know she doesn’t get home from work before seven to tell her to please call me, it’s important.  I was too excited to eat anything.  I tried watching television, but I couldn’t concentrate.  I just wanted to get on my phone and call everybody I know and tell them. I never thought about how hard keeping this to myself was going to be.

I decided that a walk would burn off some of this nervous energy and if nothing else, get me away from my phone.  I got my coat and bag, took a right turn coming out of the building and headed toward the little strip mall about five blocks away.  As I walked, I started thinking about things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go.  I kept thinking, _I can do all of it!_ Instead of calming down, I was getting more excited which is why I went into Penn’s Pub when I got to the mall.  There’s a Happy Hour that draws the after work crowd on Thursdays and it’s fun.

I had just gotten my rum and grapefruit juice at the bar when I heard my name called and turned around to see Jason Terrell walking my way with a big smile on his face.  He used to work for the City, but left two years ago to open a restaurant in Virginia with his wife.  I would see him here every once in a while with some people from his office before he moved South.

“Hi, Stranger!  How’s Virginia?”

“Virginia is fine, I guess, but I don’t live there anymore.  I moved back here about four months ago.  There’s a table by the wall.  Want to join me?”

“Sure.  Why not.”  I grabbed my things and followed him to the table.  He pulled the chair out for me, then sat down and gave his drink order to the waitress.  I lit a cigarette and asked “So, how have you been?”

His smile faded slightly and he shrugged his shoulders.  The waitress returned and placed his beer on the table.  “Well, the wife and I moved to Richmond and opened Jason’s Southern Cafeteria about six months later.  It’s not real fancy, but the food is good and people get a lot of food for the price.  Anyway, the place was doing well, but the marriage wasn’t.  My wife filed for divorce less than a year after we opened.  Now I have an ex – wife and an ex – restaurant.  So I moved back home with my folks until I’m back on my feet.” 

I had finished my drink and cigarette while he spoke.  “Jason, I am really sorry to hear that.  It’s not much, but let me buy you a drink.”  Before he could answer, I got the waitress’s attention and pointed to our empty glasses.  She nodded and quickly brought the round.  We clicked the drinks together and I took a sip.  I was feeling much calmer now that I had someone to talk to.  Jason and I only knew each other from the Pub, but he had always been pleasant whenever he was there.  This was the first time I had ever seen him there by himself.

“Anyway, enough of my sad story.  What’s been going on with you?  You’re looking good.  Still with Sanitation?”

“Yeah, but not much longer.”  I knew as soon as I said it that I was saying way too much.

Jason took the lighter from my hand and leaned in to light my cigarette.  “Oh?  How come?”

The buzz from the first two drinks had me looking into his eyes and thinking while I lit my cigarette, _I had forgotten how nice – looking he is.  I wonder does he have a girlfriend yet,_ but in answer to his question, I said, “I’ve been checking out the citywide job postings.  I’ve been thinking that I don’t want to spend my entire career in Sanitation.  I’m hoping to get a position in the Health Department.”  I wasn’t _that_ buzzed.

He nodded his head and sat back in his chair.  “That’s great.  I’m sure you’ll find something that suits you.  What’s so funny?”

I was thinking, _Sure will find something that suits me: A condo in Miami with you in it would suit me just fine,_ and he noticed that I had started grinning.  “Nothing, really.  I just thought of something funny I saw on TV last night.”

I remember thinking then: _Tara, you need to go home.  Drink this last drink and say goodnight!_ I sipped my drink and got a visual of myself sipping rum and grapefruit juice on a cruise ship in the Caribbean and starting grinning all over again.

Jason smiled too and said, “Tell me what’s so funny so I can know why I’m smiling!  You know what they say about people who smile for no reason.  For the last half – hour you’ve been looking like the cat that swallowed the canary.  What’s going on?”

I looked at him, finished my drink and thought: _He really doesn’t know anyone I know.  If I tell him, it doesn’t affect the blueprint at all.  After tonight, I’ll never be back in here again so I won’t see him.  Phase One really starts when I sit down with Debbie’s advisor and I think I’ll burst if I don’t tell someone._   “Okay, I’ll tell you, but you promise me you won’t say anything to anybody first.”

Jason silently drew his fingers across his lips in a zipping motion and tossed the “key” over his shoulder.  “Your secret is my secret.  Tell me.”

I stood up and put on my coat.  When I bent down to grab my bag, I kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear that I had yesterday’s winning lottery ticket in my wallet and that I was on my way home to plan my new life.  He congratulated me and offered me a ride home.  That was about seven hours ago.  I’m not totally sure because somehow my watch broke off my wrist when he was beating me up and it’s too dark in the trunk of his car to see anyway.

My mother used to tell me when I was growing up that “Loose lips sink ships.”  She also used to say that “Broke and busted can’t be trusted.”  I’ve had a lot of time to think about everything she used to say.  I know the next time this trunk opens up will be the last time I know anything.  Jason will finish what he started.  And I know something else: My secret really _is_ his secret.  He’ll never tell.


End file.
